Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
