i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
