I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
