Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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