i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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