this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
