its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Randomize
