people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
