i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
