'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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