She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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