I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize