oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
