Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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