My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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