White coat. Heels.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize