garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
