no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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