My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
