ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
