My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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