the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
