I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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