whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
