Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
