xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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