If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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