If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
