Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
