She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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