I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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