I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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