i used baking grease as lip gloss
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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