you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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