This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
