I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
