What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
