the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
