soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
