i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
