Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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