you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize