I smell stomach acid.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I will be naked everywhere
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
