I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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