You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
