ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
