I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
