Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
