I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's never too late to be topless.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
