It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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