wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
