I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
