All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
