And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
