I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
