I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
