do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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