You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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