Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
