you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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