Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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