I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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