let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
